Stereo Radiation

 

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Neither of us have ever been tempted to roll up to a gym with a sleeping bag looking for a place to stay, a good meal, and somewhere to wash up. But it has probably happened more than once that someone has tried it before, only to be told that they are mistaken. In that instance, it would be of no avail to make reference to a very popular song from 30 years ago, condoning such conduct. Enjoy our look at naked bicycling, disco, and the subtle difference between vital and non-vital organs. Welcome to the Hotel Radiation.

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Some people have a preternatural ability to detect characteristics about other human beings, such as their sexual orientation. Now there is software that automates the process, and lets you develop your abilities to more practical things, like whether or not that chicken is contaminated with E.coli, or where the car key gnomes shuttled your keys off to. Since we did not have a Music Tuesday this week, we make up for it with a tribute to a musical highway, and we throw in a pinch of baby sciurids to bring out the flavor. Bon apetit!

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If you are trying to get into the Illuminati, be prepared for some really wild, humiliating hazing. Believe us, nobody pranks their pledges like secret world-domination societies. But when you are caught chained to the ceiling of the National Air & Space Museum with Les Demoiselles d’Avignon stapled to your chest and one of Sir Walter Raleigh’s rib bones in your mouth, keep in mind that you lose nothing by squealing on the organization and exposing their secrets. No one will believe you and you will be thought to be crazy. But you know better. And the person you talk to on the magic red phone in your basement knows better too.  

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The days of your pre-toddler children wearing ugly, clunky shoes have finally bit the dust. Now there’s Heelarious, and the East Coast and all over Europe are rejoicing…and laughing. Summer is over, and since we are from Michigan, we’re used to cold weather, but McG is looking forward to sitting by the fire in a cardigan drinking powdered international coffee. He’s your tour guide as we penetrate into the world of unusual (but scientifically identified) fetishes, and we know that there is science involved because there’s words from dead languages in it. In the case of fetishes, that would ancient Greek, which is colloquially known as “Latin” in these parts.

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McG and Capital Z overanalyze a song from the early 1990′s that has a very meaningful message. Between the lines of this one is, “Where my money at?” This episode features even more than anything that you adore, including a cop who gets arrested, a breakdancing retrospective, and a heartwarming, family-friendly story for everyone. That and the usual announcements about voting, the forum and emailing. This is the steak, all that other stuff is the sizzle.  

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Trying to explain this episode is like trying to put lipstick on a pig. McG and Capital Z discover more about what the don’t agree about, such as Care Bears, Carrot Top, hippies, and American Idol. Actually, we do agree that Carrot Top is a miserable train wreck. This episode is the launching pad for the All-Stars of the Revolution’s newest joint, in which classic songs are mercilessly butchered. Look out world, here we come, we’re the Class of ’91!

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Career opportunities abound, even in today’s impossible labor market. You either have to lower your standards or advertise yourself in a humiliatingly embarassing way, or an embarassingly humiliating way. In the fictional world imagined up by this podcast, which bears only tangential similarities to the actual real world in which most of our listeners live, college graduates somehow smell worse than carnies, pieces of flair constitute rational discourse, and Beastie Boys songs are a primary reference material when it comes to pest control. Boyee. 

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If getting married is the greatest day of your life, why not do it twice? Three times? A fourth in Cincinnati, but that one was just a prank. The browner and fewer your teeth are, the more likely it is you know what I am talking about. This acclaimed podcast closes out the eighties (moving closer to 100, when we can stop being amazed at how many episodes we’ve put in the can) with Kentucky bigamist chick, Tennessee park porno, and Pennsylvania lawn scofflaw. A regular rogue’s gallery of crime in America. If you have any information about tonight’s stories, call our tipline.

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For men who like younger women, 17 is the new 14. Whether you are a youth hockey player in Alaska or a hair-rocker in 1987, you are not immune from the allure. This episode has us talking about film nudity and a fat baby in some other country, and overanalyzing a popular 1980′s number by a not very popular band. It may take a while to download this one, not because it is long, but because the internets are slammed with people downloading Google Chrome. Help yourself to a snack.

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